My Reflection on My Time in W131
A brief reflection about my time in W131 and what I have learned throughout the semester.
I've disliked writing since I was ten years old, and ever since then, I avoided taking courses that involved writing and avoided writing assignments at all costs. Where I graduated from high school, most students take a composition course in their senior year. I chose not to even though I knew I would likely end up having to take it in college anyway. I wanted to put it off until I absolutely couldn't any longer. This year was the year that I could no longer avoid taking a writing course. I went ahead and enrolled in W131 and dreaded the moment I would have to write my first paper. That was the case until we began discussing our immersion experiences. Having this topic I would focus on throughout the year made me excited to write because I had control over what I was writing about. I learned in this course that I disliked writing before because I lacked confidence in my writing. I also love that we were able to create a multi-modal platform to showcase our work. I have revised my WIX page and Film Review in order to publish them in my final portfolio. Throughout the projects, work, and discussions in W131 I have gained confidence and improved my writing by learning how to create a clear focus or strong thesis and provide sufficient support, how to use sources effectively by synthesizing ideas, integrating them smoothly, and documenting them correctly, how to shape, revise, and edit your writing to meet the concerns of purpose and audience, and how to reflect on your writing practices to improve them.
In W131 I learned how to create a strong thesis and provide sufficient support. When I first began writing my argument for WP3, my thesis was very lengthy and weak. The first draft of my thesis was, "While our environment may be threatened by many factors, the impact of animal agriculture can be minimized. In order to help combat the negative effects that our growing livestock industry has on our planet, Americans should eat less meat." Once I wrote the body paragraphs I went back to revise my thesis. My final thesis for my argument reads, "In order to minimize the impact of animal agriculture and combat the negative effects that our growing livestock industry has on our planet and our bodies, Americans should eat less meat." My final thesis shows that I learned to create a strong thesis because I was able to make my thesis more specific and concise. I still wanted to state that Americans should eat less meat, but I had to ensure I created an outline for my argument in my thesis. My final thesis better accomplishes this because I used the health impact meat has on our bodies, the environmental impact meat has, and the cruelty that eating meat promotes towards animals that live on our planet.
I struggled with using sources effectively by synthesizing ideas, integrating them smoothy, and documenting them correctly when I began writing in W131. However, I now feel more confident about using sources effectively. In my film review for WP1, I attempted to utilize multi-source synthesis. In one paragraph I wrote, "In this scene, Dr. Klaper tells Kip that 'all the nutrients are there in the plant kingdom' that are necessary to humans. However, in a 'Nutritional Update for Physicians: Plant-Based Diets', it reveals this is not exactly true. It says that 'Vitamin B12 is produced by bacteria, not plants or animals. Individuals who follow a plant-based diet that includes no animal products (vegan) may be vulnerable to B12 deficiency and need to supplement their diet with vitamin B12 or foods fortified with vitamin B12'." It is evident that I tried comparing the ideas from the film I watched and the research I had done. After reading Jennifer Percy's "My Terrifying Night", it was easier to understand how to integrate sources smoothy. In her narrative, she is able to smoothly shift from telling her story to telling the history of Commander Pigeon. She does so by changing the setting or introducing something new. For example, she begins one paragraph with this sentence, "Some Afghans believe cannibalistic females haunt the Hindu Kush" (Percy). She does this to give background, but in the next paragraph, she begins with "On a Sunday morning, Sharif and I, along with a driver and a photographer named Lorenzo, packed into a small Toyota Corolla with a prayer rug and headed north out of Kabul on Highway 1" (Percy). In order to smoothly transition from the history to the actual narrative, she describes a setting. While my original attempt to integrate sources wasn't a bad start for my first writing project, you can see an improvement in the counterargument of my final project. This is an excerpt from my argument that shows the improvements in my use of sources, "They suggest 'shifting consumption from beef toward pork and especially poultry would be a good way to reduce the pressure for more land' (Roquemore et al., 2). The Humane Society International explains why this might not be all that beneficial. The Humane Society International states that 'In Brazil, these high levels of geographical concentration can be seen in the pork and poultry industries. For example, in 1992, 78% of Brazil's hen population resided in only 5% of the country's area: in 2001, this number grew to 85%, while occupying the same total land area. Over the same time period, Brazil's pig population rose from 45% to 56% on only 5% of the country's area. This geographical concentration of farm animal production can cause significant air and water pollution' (Humane Society International, 2). While the idea of decreasing the amount of beef eaten might be helpful to decrease the amount of deforestation, it doesn't do anything to help greenhouse gas emissions." In the full paper, I effectively introduce both quotations, produce a rebuttal, and use them to effectively argue my point.
I really gained an understanding of how to reflect on my writing practices in order to improve them. Along with that, I learned how to shape, revise, and edit your writing to meet the concerns of purpose and audience. After writing the draft for my argument, I had to reflect on my writing in order to improve the paper. One thing that I noticed while reviewing a peer's writing project was that my paper lacked was an emotional appeal that could strengthen my argument. The logical appeal was definitely there since I argued the health effects and environmental effects of eating meat. One piece of evidence I included for the logical appeal was, "While it is important to recycle and take the bus instead of driving when possible, scientists suggest that eating less meat is the best thing an individual can do for the Earth." While that may be sufficient to convince some readers, others might not care about the effect it has on their body or the planet. They might, however, be sympathetic about the way animals are treated in order to get the meat to their plate. This is an excerpt from the logical appeal I later added, "many of these animals on factory farms aren’t treated as living things. Factory animals are deprived of food and water for long periods of time during transport and handled as objects when they arrive at factory farms for slaughter." This shows that I have learned to adapt to meet the needs of my audience in my writing. I also learned how to shape my writing to meet the concerns of the purpose. Reading Daniel Berehulak's "They Are Slaughtering Us Like Animals" aided me in developing an introduction paragraph for my immersion experience. Berehulak begins the narrative with an incident and describes the setting, "You hear a murder scene before you see it: The desperate cries of a new widow. The piercing sirens of approaching police cars. The thud, thud, thud of the rain drumming on the pavement of a Manila alleyway -- and on the back of Romeo Torres Fontanilla. Tigas, as Mr. Fontanilla was known, was lying facedown in the street when I pulled up after 1 a.m. He was 37" (Berehulak). I felt that this was an effective way to introduce a narrative because it brings the audience into the story. That is what influenced me to begin my narrative with the setting at the beginning of my immersion experience, right in the middle of my kitchen.
Overall, I learned much more than I anticipated and improved my writing significantly throughout the course. I now feel confident about how to structure my writing in order to meet certain goals I set. I am able to critique my writing so that I can improve on it. The projects that we completely throughout this semester in W131 have greatly contributed to improving my writing and my confidence in my writing. It helped that I was able to explore many new contact zones in W131, like using WIX. I met many of my own goals, but I definitely accomplished more than meeting my personal goals. In W131 I learned how to develop a strong thesis and thoroughly support it, I learned where to use sources effectively and how to synthesize ideas, I can shape, revise, and edit your writing to meet the concerns of purpose and audience, and I now constantly reflect on my writing practices to improve them.